Fine Art
by fadedjae
Summary: New first chapter! The trials and tribulations of Daisuke. Basically he explores art, his relationship with the other Chosen Children, and loads of other cool things. DaikenKensuke and slight Takari and Taito
1. Blotched

**Author's Note:** I started this story way back in the day, before I knew anything about Japan and its culture. My ignorance has somewhat lessened, so I decided to go back and edit "Fine Art" so I wouldn't be as embarressed to see my name attached to it. Daisuke has always been one of my favorite characters, and Daisuke/Ken one of my favorite pairings, and hopefully this time around, I do the characters justice. Or, failing that, I can can the story suck less! Whoohoo! Aim high!

---

High school was as good (or maybe as bad, depending on how you looked at it) as all the shows and movies I'd ever seen on the subject. My uniform always felt tight around the neck, I had homework so hard I had to do homework for it in order to understand it, and my classmates walked around with dazed looks in their eyes, mumbling nonsense about entrance exams and being ronin. I was able to let all that crap slide - not only did I have Hikari in my class to help me with homework, but I also was free from the irritating fear of college. Motomiya Daisuke was perch on the edge of super stardom, and everyone knows that superstars just don't have time for an extra four years of education. I had the soccer team eating out of the palm of my hand - I was practically guaranteed a position on real, major-league team come graduation.

When our sophomore year began, I was looking forward to smooth sailing. With Hikari's smiling face to look forward to every morning, and Takeru's scowl awaiting me at lunch (haha, sucker! Bet you wanted to sit next to Hikari-chan, didn't ya?), there was no way I couldn't be psyched for my mandatory education (no way would my parents let my drop out of high school. They'd rather see me dead, those heartless bastards). And even if my uniform was a bit uncomfortable, I still cut a fucking handsome figure in it. Guys wanted to be me, girls wanted to be with me. A normal day in my life.

With my regular grin plastered on my gorgeous face, I strolled into homeroom, glancing around for Hikari. She smiled and waved when she saw me enter, and I waved back, dropping my backpack on my desk before sidling over. "Morning."

"Morning!" She replied cutely (Hikari did everything cutely, of course, but her smile was particuarly heartwarming). "I was just looking over the club list for this year. I'm thinking about joining the astronomy club with Miyako-chan, but the tennis club looks good, too, and I know that Sora had a lot of fun with them." She sighed, blowing some strands of hair that had escaped her adorable butterfly barret out of her face. "Or maybe the art club. I've always wanted to improve my drawing."

Darling Hikari, always bettering herself (as if that were possible. Hikari was perfect as far as I was concerned). "Damn," I said as I eyed the list, "Won't that make you too busy? Didn't you want to get a job, too?"

She sighed again and folded the piece of paper and tucked it away into one of the books she had stacked on her desk. "Well, I could use the extra money," she said slowly, "But, mostly," she pasued, looking quickly around before lowering her voice to such a soft volume that I had to lean in to hear her (not that I minded), "I want to make the most of my free time, now that I - that _we_ - have some. The Digital World has finally settled down, and I want to make up for everything I missed in elementary school and junior high. We never really got involved with school. But now we have the chance to be normal kids, you know?"

I was saved from answering her questions by the start of homroom; never had I been so relieved to see our class president motion us to sit. I backed away from Hikari and flopped into my seat, responding absently to our president's orders. When the morning routine of greeting our teacher and waving my hand to prove I had indeed fulfilled the requirement of attending class had finished, I glanced sideways at Hikari, who was scribbling away in a notebook and chewing on her bottom lip. Did she really regret all the time we had spent in the Digital World? Did she think it was time wasted? I slouched forward miserably and bit back a curse. To me, our adventures together were the best moments of my life. How could they not be? I blew stuff up, became friends with monsters, saved the world on numerous occasions. Because of the Digital World, I had best friends coming out of the woodwork. I counted them off on my fingers: Hikari, the love of my life, Takeru, Miyako, Iori, Yagami-kun, Ishida-kun, and Vmon. And Izumi-kun, Kido-kun, Tachikawa-san, and Takenouchi-san. And Willis.

Not bad. And even dozen.

And Ken.

I pushed myself back up to a proper sitting position, and stared at the three fingers I had raised to count the final members of my group of friends. Ken. Ichijouji Ken might have well lived in America with Tachikawa-san and Willis; as close as we had gotten during our battles together and all the times one of us had saved the other, I always felt like Ken was intentionally distancing himself from me. He had gotten into a fancy-pants high school and used it as an excuse to avoid me at all costs, with the exception of the times I just invited myself over to his house to shoot the breeze with his mother until he came home. He was always glad to see me, at least, I always thought he was always glad to see me, and no matter how many messages I left on his cellphone or how many emails I sent him, he barely communicated with me. It was like pulling teeth, only less rewarding. At least when you pull teeth, you have something to put under your pillow (assuming that you believe in that sort of stuff). At least Willis called me back and sent me postcards.

Maybe I was holding on too desperately tot he past. Having a relationship with Ken as a kid didn't guarantee me one now that we were older. Maybe he wanted to let go of all that, like Hikari, and move on. Maybe the memories we had formed were weighing me down. Tying me up. Maybe they were an anchor, rather than a life jacket. Maybe staring at pool outside inspired terrible metaphors. I looked at Hikari again and nodded determindedly to myself. I'd join another club in addition to soccer. I'd let go of all that unnecessary crap that I'd been burdening myself with. I'd stop calling Ken. Well, I'd limited myself, anyway. Well, I'd stop bringing up the Digital World, anyway. When classes ended, I'd march behind Hikari and into the Art Club's clubroom. I'd sit down and whip out a pencil and I would draw until my fingers bled. Motomiya Daisuke would not be defeated by some stupid memories.

No matter how good they were.


	2. Discovery, Daisuke Style

Misono-sempai picked up a chair from an empty desk and without struggling even the tiniest bit lifted it onto table in the front of the room.  "You will be using these graphite pencils," she pointed to a box and I noted the tremble in her finger, "This is just a warm up exercise.  I hope that you will have fun with it."

Have fun with it?  I decided to give her my attention for the period, but only because I felt so sorry for her.  I picked myself up from my chair and slowly walked to the front of the class to grab a pencil and a stack of paper.  After having completing my mission, I slowly walked back to my seat and sat back down again.  I ignored my classmates and stayed in my original choice of seat, by the window and far from the front of the class. 

Once seated I stared dutifully at the chair and awaited inspiration.  It was a regular chair, the same as all the chairs in the school as well as the kind Ken had in his room.  It was facing me, so if I drew it, I'd have to deal with shadowing and other such crap to make it realistic looking.

            I made a line and then a few more but instead of a chair a mess of squiggles covered the paper.  To make the chair to realistic I would have to add shadows and other such means of 3D design and crap.  But all of that would require an effort; I told myself, and an effort I did not feel like giving.

            I stared at the chair for a long time.  Around me, I could hear the whispered conversations of the other kids, and I pitied myself; sitting alone had seemed like such a good idea but once in solitude I felt even smaller and unloved.

To stop feeling sorry for myself, I decided to actually attempt the exercise.  After re-arranging my goggles, I slammed my pencil on my paper and sketched.

~~~

It took four sheets of paper but I learned how to make shadows.  My hand didn't complain once as I drew, erased, drew, erased, and tore holes in my drawing.  It became so trivial that I didn't need to concentrate as I sketched.  The chair looked like the one Ken had and that realization set of a chain of thoughts on the subject of my best friend.  

I had been over his apartment the day before, hanging out and enjoying the afternoon.  He'd been sitting at his desk, typing up his genius homework on his computer while I lay on his floor, complaining about soccer and an upcoming game.  He had turned around to tease me about how much I needed to practice.  

I smiled lazily, remembering all the fun things we had done, all the time we had killed together, never bored and never tired of each other.  My mood lightened and I decided not to put so much energy in hating art class.

Finally, hundreds of pieces of paper later and with a smile of victory, I finished the chair.  I had to admit that it was a damned good chair; my effort had paid off.  It looked so real that even I was surprised at myself; I never knew I had it in me.

I looked around the class, eager to show it off.  Everyone seemed to busy with their own drawings and completely oblivious to my need.  I leaned on one arm and squinted at my picture, frowning. It probably wasn't good at all; I was probably just imagining it or something.  I'm stupid like that.

I erased the back of the chair for no particular reason.  Ken's grin flashed in my head, and with a crooked smile of my own, I sketched him in.  He had rested his arms on his knees, and then rested his head in his hands.  Trying my best to remember his exact pose, I slowly drew him in, first making an outline, then filling it in with his details.

He always kept his smiles in check, like he was afraid of showing that he was happy.  Or something lame like that, anyway.  And his hair had a habit of falling over his forehead and in front of his eyes.  He'd cocked his eyebrows slightly and give me a look of bemused happiness, if that made any sense at all.

I stuck my tongue out the corner of my mouth to help me concentrate.  With my pencil flying at a velocity close to the speed of light, I shaded him in, making sure he turned out as beautiful as he was in real life.

He had leaned forward; his long legs spread just a little, just enough to support him.  The grace that deer shared and dancers tried to imitate was near impossible to capture.  First I drew a light stick figure person and then carefully filled him out.  My heart was thumping in anticipation and my hand shook as I forced any sleeping talent that I had out of hibernation and into the picture.  It had to be perfect, nothing less would suit Ken.

Immensely pleased, I whammed my pencil on my desk and silently congratulated myself.  It had turned out better than I had hoped.  It was Ken all right, all the way down to the glimmer he got in his eyes when he held back his laughter.

Yeah, I was the greatest.


	3. Lunch

I hummed quietly as I finished the drawing.  I shaded a little more over Ken's eyes then went back to shaded a little more at his chest.  I felt so professional.  As if I had accomplished something.

"Okay, now please pass your drawings in."  Misono's voice broke my contented silence.  "And don't worry, these won't be graded."

I bit my lip and looked at my drawing.  I had done the assignment… sort of.  What would she think of it?  First off, she'd probably tell me that I should have stuck to the original project and how I need to learn to follow directions.  Teachers told me that a lot.  And was true, I guess.  Respect and dignity were not my to highest qualities and my reputation for trouble and ignorance often proceeded me.  The name Motomiya brought terror into the hearts of teachers and students alike, my sister had paved the way to a disaster we shared.

I got up, dragging my feet all the way to the front of the class where Misono-sempai stood collecting the papers.  I stole glances at the other kids' drawings; they had all done what they had been told.  All their chairs looked like the chair on the table.  Ever the critic I looked down my nose at my classmates attempts: some were pretty damn bad, but I had to admit to myself that some were okay, possibly better then my strange and unacceptable masterpiece.  I waited until they had all filed back to their seats before I handed her mine.

"Uh," I said, holding it in one hand, wrinkling it slightly.  "I guess I should apologize in advance."  Shame-faced, I placed the paper on the stack in her hands.

I turned and hurried back to my seat before she could respond.  There I grabbed my bag and prayed for the bell to ring.

It did, and with a breath of relief, I ran to freedom.

~~~

"Hey, Daisuke!"  Izumi-sempai waved from across the hall.  And I walked towards him, glad that it was a friend and not a teacher calling my name. "What's up?  You look as if you just saw a ghost."

"Nah, nothing that deadly," I shifted my backpack on my shoulder and gave him a grin.  "Escaping from art class."

"Interesting."  Izumi had strange black eyes that always creeped me out for some reasons that I never understood.  They focused completely on my own eyes now and bore holes straight into the back of my brain.  His conversation was light and friendly but his eyes looked like doom, destruction, and all other signs of the apocalypse.  "I took computer graphing and got art credit for that."

"Oh."  I said because I didn't know what else could be said about it.  "Well, computers suck."

"Oh."  Izumi looked amused.  His black eyes continued to stare into mine, and I looked away, suddenly embarrassed.

I shifted my backpack again, jostling the Digimon inside.  "I gotta go, talk to you later, okay?"

"Sure Daisuke."  Izumi said with a nod.  "Later."

"Bye."  I never knew how to treat him; did he expect me to consider him a close friend or he did think of me only as an underclassman?  I knew him because he had been a Chosen Child and we become somewhat acquainted because he was Tahiti's friend and any friend of Taichi was a friend of mine.  I had been honestly trying to improve myself so I gave him the respect that an upperclassman deserved from an underling.  As I watched as the red head walked into the crowds I wondered what he really thought of me.  I shrugged to myself, realizing that I didn't care as much as I thought I should.  I closed the matter by stopping all thoughts at a final observation: Izumi sure was weird.  He was smart, but not like Ken.  Izumi Koushiro was like a calculator; good numbers, figures, and stuff like that.  Ken was just…

I stopped that thought too.

The halls were emptying, lunch being the choice destination of my fellow empty schoolmates.  My stomach rumbled and from my bad, Chibimon wiggled and squeaked in annoyed impatience.  "I'm hungry!"  He declared.  "And your bag smells funny."

"Yeah yeah, I've heard it all before."  I opened my bag and grinned down at my partner.  "I think you'll survive another five minutes before we get to the cafeteria."

Chibimon's large eyes blinked.  "Can't wait five minutes!"

I zippered my bag again and swung it onto my back.  "Work work work, that's all I'm good for."  

~~~

I hurried outside, blinded by the light as I burst out of the school and into the open.  A familiar voice called from the oblivion and I headed in its direction.  "Over here Dai!"  

I plodded up to my friends.  Takeru grinned over his sandwich.  "We thought you'd never show up."

Next to him, Hikari waved.  "What took you so long?  I thought lunch was your favorite class."

Miyako snickered and took a bite of her gross looking salad.  "Eating's the only thing he's good at."

"All right," I plopped next to Takeru, "I know that was supposed to be an insult, but it just sucked."

Iori held out a plate of sushi, a silent offering of whatever.  "Would you like a sushi, Motomiya-sempai?"

I always felt like I corrupted Iori.  He was such a good kid.  He was young but ten times more mature than I was.  I had insisted that he call me by my first name and had tried on a few occasions to prove that I didn't deserve to be considered any better than him, but he chose to address all of us as adults and treated us with the respect reserved for elders.  He was humble to the extreme of being… extremely humble.  Politely, I nodded and carefully chose one.  "Thanks Iori."

From my bag, Chibimon squealed.  "I want a sushi!"

We always sat outside, and always somewhere private.  It was harder when it rained, but somehow we always managed to get along.  The other Digimon ate quietly, used to having to deal with humans who didn't understand.  For a while our Digimon stayed home, or simply hid in the school.  It was hard though, being separated from them, so we had all agreed to keep them with us whenever we could.  It meant I had to lug around a Digimon with me, but it was small price to pay for unlimited friendship. 

"Of course you may have one."  Iori said with a smile, passing a sushi into the shadows of my bag's interior.  "I hope you enjoy it."

"He will."  I patted my Digimon's blue head.  "He loves sushi."

"It's almost as good as candy!"  Chibimon burped quietly.  After a moment's pause, he piped up again.  "I'm still hungry."

I busied myself with splitting my lunch with him, trying to keep engaged so I wouldn't have to watch Takeru and Hikari.  They had hidden their feelings each for a long time, trying to spare me from heartbreak, but now that I knew it seemed like they were trying to make up for lost.  Little motions of love, Jun had called them, like Hikari fixing Takeru's hair, or Takeru brushing something off her cheek.  It was awkward to be around them, I felt like I was intruding. 

I was intruding, though, and we all knew it.  Even when Iori and Miyako were with us, I was still the odd man out.  Only when Ken joined us did I feel like I was needed, or wanted.  But Ken didn't go to our school.  He went to some geek school on the other side of the city which wasn't fair for me.

Once I had tried to tell him to switch schools, so he could be with us, so he could be with me.  He had refused, of course, despite my eventual begging.

"Eventual, now there's a word I don't use everyday."  I mused.  "I probably learned it from Ken."

My friends turned and stared blankly at me.  

"Huh?"  Miyako said her mouth full of lettuce.  "Did you say something Daisuke?"

"Me?"  I laughed, embarrassed.  Had I been thinking out-loud?  Damn.  "Um, no.  It must have been Chibimon."

Tailmon narrowed her eyes, and I gulped under her scrutiny.  But her suspicion passed and she returned to her meal without saying anything.

I pulled Chibimon onto my lap, laughing as he scampered about our hidden haven.  I felt bad, making him suffer through the day in school when he could be out having fun, but Chibimon had assured me that spending to with me was the only thing he wanted to do.  I like lunch not only because it was a vacation from work but because I could let him play, and could be with my friends, such as they were.  I wasn't always self-absorbed no matter what my critics said of me.

The other Digimon finished stuffing themselves with food and joined Chibimon in his game.  If Minomon was present, I thought absently, the picture would be complete.

A screech from the bell signaled the end to my happiness.  I stood with a sigh, Chibimon scrambling to get back into my bag.  "Well, see you guys later."

"Bye Daisuke," they chorused.

With a wave, I trudged back into the school.


	4. Friendship Boosts

*hugs Daisuke* Love ya! I think Daisuke is the easiest of the Digidestined to write about... so I'll probably make this my longest story yet... um... yeah.

~*~

I have one talent. It's not much, but it's helpful. I can erase my memories.

Yup.

As soon as school ends, I wipe my head clean of anything I learned and am able to continue with my life. The downside of my talent is that I fail almost every test.

My consistently bad grades inspired my parents to get me a tutor, and at first, I had refused with every fiber of my being.

Then I learned my tutor was Ken.

It was fantastic. I could go over his apartment, or he could come over mine, and my parent's wouldn't be suspicious. Ken would tutor me for an hour or so, until I convinced him that playing soccer was the best way to learn math, and then we'd go out, practice a little and call it a day.

Sometimes I'm a genius too.

At least, that's what we did at first. My grades still sank lower, however, and Ken decided that my plans of soccer playing interfered with me not failing. He kicked me into action, and attempted to teach, really teach, me everything I needed to know. He can be pretty stupid sometimes, even for a child prodigy.

I felt bad, after I failed a test. Ken put too much time and effort into me. I wasn't worth his worrying, but I couldn't seem to make him see it.

I tried not to think about it.

~~~

"He shoots, he scores!" I smacked an empty soda can with my foot, sending it flying into the bushes. I walked home from school alone, with the exception of Chibimon.

I used to walk with Takeru and Hikari. I'd follow them home, included, but not really. I stopped doing that. And I refused to walk with Miyako.

"I totally kick ass."

"I know!" Chibimon, perched on my head, wiggled with glee. "You're the best, Dai!"

"Aren't I though?" Chibimon loved me, and that was good enough for me. "That's why I'm the leader of the Digidestined."

"You're so cool!"

I grinned. "Thanks Chibimon," I said, my mood rising from 'unbelievably crappy' to 'pleased as punch'. "And you're the best Digimon, no contest."

"Really?"

"Of course!" I counted off the reasons on my fingers. "You digivolve into the best stages, you tell the best jokes, you're blue, you like candy and you're partnered up with me. In conclusion, you rock."

"So combined, we're an unstoppable force, huh?"

"You bet!" I grinned, but didn't really mean it. "No one can get us down."

"Not even Hikari!"

"Not even her. Not even Takeru. Not even Miyako. And definitely not Iori."

"What about Ken?"

"Ken?" I stopped in my tracks. "Well, there's always an exception to the rule."

Chibimon leaned over my forehead to stare down at me. "What do you mean, Daisuke? Does Ken upset you?"

"Yes and no." I shrugged, unable to explain it. "I'm not sure."

"Oh." Chibimon frowned. "I don't understand. How come you don't know?"

"I just don't, okay?" I snapped, annoyed. "I'm too stupid to know."

Chibimon looked hurt. "You're not stupid Daisuke," he said quietly, his large black eyes gazing into mine. "You're the smartest person I know."

I sighed. "Do you think you could relax your grasp on my hair?" I changed the subject, blocking my feelings from bothering me again. "My scalp's beginning to hurt."

~~~

"I'm home!" I sang as I stepped into my apartment. When no one answered, I yelled it louder. "I said, I'm home!"

"What do you want? A medal or something?" Jun's head poked out of her room. Her normally gross hair looked even worse than usual. Appartently her newest plot to win Yamato was to look as revolting as possible. I never understood girls.

I sent her a death look and strolled into the kitchen. "I deserve one."

Jun grumbled and retreated into her chamber.

I pulled Chibimon out of my backpack and set him on the kitchen counter. "Now, my fine blue buddy, what would we like for a snack?"

Chibimon giggled. "Food!"

I laughed along with him. "Well, it's a start." After searching through my refrigerator, I pulled out a plate of leftover chicken. I stuffed it into our microwave and pushed a few buttons. The machine lit up and the plate spun inside. I grinned in success. "I'm so cool."

"You're the best chef in the world." Chibimon breathed in awe.

Everyone should have a Digimon, I thought happily. "Here Chibimon, the chicken's done." At the beep, I opened the door and pulled out our meal. "We'll eat in my room."

"Who the hell are you talking to, Daisuke?" A shriek erupted from my sister's room. "Do you have a friend over? Is it Takeru? Did he bring Yama?"

"Stop kidding yourself Jun!" I tossed over my shoulder as I scooped Chibimon into my arms. "Yamato wouldn't be caught dead over here."

"So who are you talking to?"

"Hey, I'm having a private conversation with the voices in my head, thank you very much!"

My sister, complaining about her sufferings caused by having me as a brother, slammed her door.

I shared a grin with Chibimon. "Point for Daisuke. Jun - nothing."

"You're my hero, Daisuke."

Gods, I love being a digi-destined.


	5. Idiosyncrasy

~*~

I munched on my chicken, absently doodling on a piece of scrap paper I had picked off my trash pile. It was a lame attempt to draw Chibimon eating. "Bleck." I crumbled it and tossed it under my bed.

Chibimon looked up over his piece of meat. "Daisuke?" He asked, his voice muffled from the food in his mouth, "I'm really thirsty. May I have something to drink?"

"Sure," I patted his head affectionately and stood up. "Soda okay?"

"Soda? Okay!" 

Closing the door firmly behind me, I padded into my hallway. As I passed Jun's room, I noticed strange screams being emitted from inside. Straining my ears, I pressed against the door and tried to figure just what my sister was doing. It sounded like a hundred thousand girls yelling their tiny heads off. "What the hell?" I banged on the door. "Jun, what the hell are you listening to?"

My sister pulled the wooden door open, scowling at me. "What now, Daisuke?"

I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't know what kind of person finds screaming girls an attractive kind of music." I scowled back at her. "So I've come to the conclusion that you're an alien."

Jun rolled her eyes and flopped back inside her room. "If you must know, it's a tape I made at Yama's last concert."

I shuffled into her room. "No... Yamato definitely doesn't sound like that."

"Listen carefully." Jun turned up the volume. 

More screams. "Wait, I think I hear him." I plopped onto my sister's bed, giving her a weird expression. "You must really be desperate."

My sister's eyes watered. "Look Daisuke, I don't expect a stupid, immature little pig of a brother to understand the deep pain I experience on a daily basis, but you could at least let me suffer alone!"

I scowled for a second time. "Relax Jun." I waved my hand at her, dismissing her "sufferings", such as they were. "You should get over him and move on with your life." We had this discussion, rather, this argument, and a lot. It usually ended with me getting slapped, but it was worth getting my sister mad.

Instead of snapping back as she usually did, Jun slouched her shoulders and turned away from me. She leaned against her Yamato-picture covered wall, and sighed softly. "I'm trying."

I stared at her back, wondering how to react. Deciding that I was trudging on dangerous grounds, I silently backed out of her room and shut the door after me.

~~~

"Next, I will demonstrate the correct way to..."

Block him out, just block him out. Filling my head with images of the Digiworld, I successfully tuned my teacher out of my mind. Ah, peace at last.

My thoughts wandered in the stale classroom air. The Digital World... If only I was there instead of school. I'd call Ken over, and we'd go together, fighting the darkness of evil side by side. After we'd defeat our foe, we'd stand next to each other, staring out at the land we had worked so hard to save. Ken would grin and turn to me, and I'd lean closer and then he'd...

I shot up in my seat.

My teacher blinked at my sudden movement. "I wasn't aware you found this so interesting."

What? I sank back down, a blush creeping into my cheeks. "Heh... well, I do. It's so intriguing, sir."

"Would you mind telling the class what you find so amazing about plant cell structure, Motomiya?"

I grimaced but obediently stood up. "It must be the..." Stalling for time, I raked my gaze across my classroom. Across the room, Hikari and Miyako bent their heads together and giggled. "...The organization of the..." Hikari giggled again, and winked at me. My blush deepened. "...Organelles."

"What exactly, Motomiya?"

Burst into flames, burst into flames, I wished silently. When my teacher didn't combust, I put my most charming smile on. He didn't think that I had been paying attention. Well, he was right about that, but what he didn't know was that Ken had helped me on plant cells recently. "Well, I believe my fascination began with the nucleus, sir." I drawled, enjoying the surprised look that registered on his face. "The nucleus, yes, definitely that. Just the idea that RNA is created inside and then leaves the nucleus through the nucleus pores gives me shivers, sir. But it only gets better."

My whole class stared at me. Even Yolei looked dumbfounded. Lazily, I continued. "The endoplasmic reticulum, don't those words excite you, sir? Dotted with ribosomes. Simply... breathtaking."

"Thank you, Motomiya." My teacher said, his eyes wide. "That will be enough."

With a pleased bow, I lowered myself into my chair. Ha. I was the champion. No one, not even my science teacher, could get me down.

~~~

My teacher left me alone for the rest of the period. After an eternity, the bell rang and I made a quick exit into the hallway, not wanting to be bothered by questions of my actions. "Please don't let my teacher catch me..." I prayed quietly as I dashed down the hall.

"Hey Daisuke!" Hikari, Miyako behind her, called after me. 

"Hi guys." I slowed down and waited patiently for them to catch up.

"Wow Daisuke," Miyako gushed as she approached. "You really showed him!"

I assumed, correctly, that she spoke of my ingenious coup d'etat in science class. Wow, French. Ken really had rubbed off on me. I grinned at them. "Admit it, I'm the best."

Hikari laughed and jabbed me with her elbow. "Don't get cocky, Dai. All you did was prove how smart you are. It wasn't an overthrow or anything."

My brows drew together. What had she called me? It didn't sound good, being cocky. And it was an overthrow. I had stood up to the leader of scientific evilness. Not sure what kind of answer she was expecting, I nodded and attacked the part of her speech that I understood. "I'm not smart. I was just reciting what Ken told me."

Miyako snorted. "I knew it. Daisuke isn't capable of comprehending biology."

I was crestfallen at Miyako's biting words, but I agreed with her. "Or anything else."

Hikari's eyes softened. "Don't say that. Either of you." She sent a dirty look to Yolei. "Daisuke isn't stupid. Right?" Her expression was fierce, like she was going into battle. Her ruby eyes changed from gentle to determined, and she frowned, her perfect mouth pouting. "You are smart, no matter how hard you deny it."

I was confused again. Why was she standing up for me? "Uh... I have to go to art now.." I backed up, away from the girls. "See you guys in lunch." For the second time that day, I ran away.

~~~

I returned to the same seat I had had the day before. I was in no mood to deal with my classmates, and I knew that sanctuary could be found in solitude.

Misono, still as nervous as the day before, stood in the front of the class. "Today," she trembled, "We will be drawing an object from memory." She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. "Yesterday, I asked you to draw an object in front of you. I hoped that you would draw exactly what you saw, as a way to train yourselves on how to draw more realistically."

I knew she was talking about me.

"I believe you will find that drawing something without having it to look at will prove to be more difficult."

Someone I didn't recognize raised her hand. "What does the drawing have to be of?"

"Anything." 

"Anything at all?"

"Yes," Misono affirmed with a nod. "It can be a thing, a place, or a person."

Well, that answered my question. Immediately I knew what I was going to draw Ken.


	6. Muddled Musings

Dai has PMS! Geez, sure seems that way. This was a very difficult chapter to write about; depression isn't understandable. So, I apologize for its crappiness.

Dai: When are me and Ken going to hook up?

Ken: I haven't even been in the story yet!

Hehe... I'm getting around to it guys. ^^ 

Dai: Why are you smiling?

Ken: I hate to think about what she has planned.

Dai: Heh. It better include lots of sex.

Ken: Dai!

Oh it does... it does.... 

Actually, I have no clue. Onto the story!

~*~

"The bell will ring shortly. Please bring your drawings to the front of the class."

Misono's voice woke my from my daydreams and I shook myself back to reality. Huh? I gulped and looked at my blank sheet of paper. Crap.

I had to do something.

But what?

I couldn't draw Ken. I just couldn't. "Crap." I mumbled under my breath. "Just plain old crap." My mind was blank; the only thing I was capable of doing was sweating. Crap.

Think! I ordered myself. Think of something!

Nothing.

And then the bell rang.

Crap.

If I was a girl, I probably would have broken down and cried. I felt as if I had a giant weight on my shoulders, and that I was trapped.

Desperate, I moved my pencil down to the paper. But my hand stopped and I couldn't make myself draw anything.

"Daisuke?"

I blinked, my mind cloudy, as if I had woken up from a dream. Someone had said my name...

"Daisuke? That's your name, right?"

Frowning deeply, I nodded, not looking up.

"The other children have left already, don't you have lunch now?"

Finally, I lifted my head. Misono stood in front of my desk, clutching papers to her chest. She had a death grip on them, as if they'd protect her. Protect her from what? I wondered absently. From me?

Silently, I rose to my feet. "Uh, sorry ma'am. I just... I wasn't able to..." I held out the white sheet of paper. "It hasn't been a good day."

For some reason, Misono relaxed and gave me a bashful smile. "It's okay Daisuke," she said, her voice soft. "I understand. Sometimes, things just don't work."

"Yeah," I didn't feel like having a conversation, so I grabbed my bag and stepped towards the door. She didn't understand. How could she? With a polite bow, I backed out into the hallway, hating her for her assumption and me for my weakness.

~~~

No matter how hard I tried not to, I kept thinking about Ken. 

"I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay." I chanted as I flew down the hall. "I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay." Every step reassured me of my heterosexuality, and by the time I reached my locker, I was thoroughly convinced that not only was I strait, but also a major stud.

Feeling better, I slammed my locker shut and strolled towards lunch.

"Hello Daisuke, was art class any better today?"

I turned around. Koushiro, a friendly smile on his face, gave me a quick wave.

I smiled back. "No," I said cheerfully, "It sucked ass."

"I see." Koushiro dropped his smile. "It's understandable though. I have a theory about the..."

I built my mental wall up and blocked his words from entering my head. The last thing I wanted to hear was one of Koushiro's infamous theories of life. Nodding dumbly, I daydreamed of winning soccer matches and Hikari. 

Hikari.

I was so totally straight.

"...And so I wrote it as a thirty paged thesis paper, but my teacher refused to accept as the art project."

Alarms went off, waking me up. Finally, Koushiro had finished his story. "Yeah." I chose a word that could be interpreted in any way. "Well, I have to go to lunch."

"Enjoy your meal." Koushiro smiled again and disappeared down the hall.

I ran a hand through my hair. "I thought he'd never shut up," I told Chibimon.

"I like Koushiro."

"Yeah, I do too. But not when I'm hungry."

"Where does he go?" Chibimon poked his head out my bag. "How come he doesn't eat with us."

"He has some kind of smart class thing." I replied with a shrug. "It's a bunch of geeks that group together and say geeky things."

"How come you aren't part of it?"

"Because I'm not a geek." I huffed. I patted his head and gently pushed him back inside my bag. "Because I'm not smart."

Chibimon's answer was lost in the noise as I pushed out of the school and into the sun.

~~~

Wearily I climbed the stairs leading to our apartment. School was draining, and after I returned to the haven of home, I needed a good two hours of rest before I could function again.

I tumbled into my front hallway. Gathering the last bit of my energy, I dragged myself into my kitchen and fell into a chair.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Chibimon scurry into my room. His timing had been perfect, a moment later the harpy known as Jun appeared.

"When's your next soccer game?"

"Get me a cookie and I'll tell you."

Jun groaned. "Fine," she complied with a furious frown. She grabbed a cookie from an open box and chucked it at my head. "So? When is it?"

"Sunday." I stuffed the cookie into my mouth. "Why?" I asked, spitting cookie crumbs onto the table. I brushed them onto the floor, swallowed my snack and wiped my mouth. Feeling a bit re-energized; I was ready to torture my sister.

Jun shrugged. "I figured that if Takeru went, Yama might go too."

I shook my head. "He hardly ever comes to my games." I said, my energy deflating again. "At least, not the ones on Sundays. He and Hikari always go out then."

"Oh," Jun sighed. "Damn."

"Yeah."

My sister stood up. "Nevermind then." With a small wave, she returned to her room.

I sat alone at my kitchen table in silence, trying to piece together my reality.

~~~

"It's like I'm just watching a movie or something." I explained to my Digimon. "Like I'm not really living my life, I'm only watching it." I was sprawled on my bedroom floor, drawing little pictures of me on my math homework. 

"That's weird."

"Yeah." I added my goggles to my sketch. "It's been a weird few days, though."

"How so?"

"Well," I drew in the flames on my jacket, "I think that I might not like Hikari the way I used to." 

Chibimon tapped his cheek thoughtfully. "That's good then, isn't it? She's going out with Takeru now, so maybe you're beginning to let her go."

"I guess."

"Has anything else been bothering you?"

"Geez," I rolled my eyes, "What are you, my therapist?"

Chibimon looked hurt. "I'm just trying to help you Daisuke."

I knew he was. But I didn't understand what was going on myself, how could he? Even if I did understand, I didn't ant him to know. What if I was changing? What if I changed into something bad? He could leave me.

Chibimon hugged my arm. "I love you Daisuke; you can tell me anything."

"Yeah." I said as I crumbled my homework. "I know."

~~~

"Daisuke, are you doing your homework?" My mother banged on my locked door, "Or are you just goofing off?"

"The first one." I yelled back.

"Good." My mother believed my lie and left me in peace.

Chibimon frowned. "You're not doing your homework Daisuke," he said quietly. "Are you?"

"Nope." I grinned. "I'm drawing a picture, wanna see it?"

"Yes!" Chibimon clapped his tiny hands. "Let me see it!"

I turned my notebook around. "It's Taichi playing soccer," I told him, using my pencil as a pointer. "See? And that's me in the background."

Chibimon 's mouth dropped open. "Wow Daisuke..." He breathed. "It looks so real... It's really good. It's better than good."

Damn, he didn't need to lie about it. I pulled my notebook back, embarrassed and injured. Damn. Just damn. He said that I could tell him anything. Bastard. I knew that I wasn't good at anything. That I'd amount to nothing in life. By lying, he only proved that I couldn't trust him. That he'd rather pretend than face my feeling, than face me. "Yeah, I'm a regular de Vinci," I scoffed, "I'm the best damned artist to walk the goddamn planet Earth since-"

"I meant it Daisuke." Chibimon whispered.

"Don't give me that crap." I rolled my eyes and turned away. The whole world was against me.

"Daisuke!" Chibimon's voice grew even softer. "What's wrong with you?"

What the hell was wrong with me? Suddenly I was smacked by my actions. Chibimon was bravely fighting back his tears, his lower lip quivering. I had taken my anger out on him, on my only true friend in the world. I gathered him in my arms, murmuring an apology.

"Why... are... acting so... strange?" Chibimon asked between quiet sobs.

"I don't know buddy," I said, nuzzling his fuzzy head with my chin. "I'm all screwed up. Nothing's like it used to be."

"Are you still mad at me Daisuke? I really... liked your picture. I wasn't lying."

"I know that, and I'm sorry I yelled at you." Why had I snapped? I couldn't remember it exactly; the past was blurred with tears. 

Chibimon was silent for a long time. "Will you draw me sometime?"

I laughed and my body relaxed. "You bet."


	7. Grass, Keys, Boxers and Cake

Another hard chapter! Ken's such a difficult character! Arg!

Ken: Hey, at least I'm finally in the story!

Dai: Yes you are, you sexy bitch.

Ken: *blushes* Dai...

Anywho, yeah.

~*~

"Hey Daisuke, good practice." 

"Huh? Oh thanks Asuka." I had been sitting on the soccer field, idly chewing a piece of grass daydreaming when he called me. I shook my head and returned to reality. "Yeah, it was pretty good. Did you see my killer bicycle kick?'

Asuka chuckled. "How could I miss it? It was pretty sweet all right."

"Damn straight." I said, returning my attention back to the half-chewed piece of grass.

"See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, bye." I waved at Asuka, and then at the rest of my teammates. I had soccer practice three times a week, for a few hours after school. Soccer was what I loved, besides eating and playing video games.

Sometimes, if I was lucky, Taichi would come to my practices, and we'd play a game afterwards. He used to bring Hikari, but ever since she and Takeru had hooked up, she'd abandoned me.

I didn't mind though.

I stood up and spit the grass out. "Gross," I murmured as I wiped my mouth, "When did I start eating grass?" I was alone, finally, and free for the rest of the afternoon.

I grabbed my backpack, a sleeping Chibimon inside, and slung it over my shoulder. I had two choices of things to do after I changed out of my uniform. I could either go home or go to Ken's.

It was a no brainer, even for me. 

~~~

I went to Ken's apartment a lot. His parents liked me, correction, his parent's loved me. I was welcome at any hour, whether Ken was there or not. They took me on family outings, much to Ken's humiliation, and bought me presents on holidays.

I would show up after school, chat with Ken's mom until he came home from genius land, or wherever he had spent his day, then bother him for a few hours until I had to go home. Sometimes, if his parent's weren't working, they'd give me a lift home, or sometimes my parents would pick me up, but usually I took the train. When I did, Ken would walk me there, a gesture that spoke a thousand times more than he did.

I had just reached Ken's floor when his mother came barreling down the hall. "Daisuke!" She exclaimed as she ran me over. "Sorry, I didn't see you there!"

"It's okay Mrs. Ichijouji," I stood up, rubbing my head and grinning at her. "I'm okay."

"That's good." She sighed, relieved. "Ken's not home yet, but he will be soon." She stopped, looking at me thoughtfully. "Today's not his soccer game, is it?"

"Uh," I tried to remember. "No, don't think so."

"Then he should be back from school in about a half an hour. Here," she stuck her hand into her purse, "You can use this spare key to let yourself in. You don't mind waiting, do you?"

"Er, of course not!" I took the key, holding it in wonder. This had to mean something. It had to be one of those milestones. "Thank you very much. Have a good day at work!"

"Oh, you're such a sweetheart." She smiled. "Now, I've got to get going. Help yourself if you're hungry, you know where everything is!" With a wave, she disappeared around the corner.

I dangled the key in front of my eyes, frowning at it. Then, with a pleased smile, I marched to Ken's door and let myself in.

~~~

"We're moving on up, Chibimon!" I did a little dance. "Not bad. A key of our own."

"That was nice of her," Chibimon said as he climbed out of my backpack. "Now we can come whenever we want!"

I turned on the lights and closed the door behind me. "Hey, this is cool." I grinned evilly. "Do you know what this means?"

"No," My Digimon blinked up at me expectedly, "What does it mean, Dai?"

I shrugged. "Beats me, it's just cool."

Minomon peaked out of Ken's room. "Daisuke? Chibimon?"

"Minomon!" The two Digimon ran towards each, collided, and landed in a pile of giggles.

I scooped them into my arms and kicked Ken's door open. "Total freedom!" Suddenly I had an urge to know something. A very particuarly something. I didn't want to figure out what the something was, but I wanted to know if it was true or not. I paused, baffled by my repeated and totally unclear thoughts. Shrugging I decided to forget my reasons and continue with my action. "Hey Minomon, Ken doesn't have a diary or anything that I could go through, does he?"

"Nope." Minomon shook his head. "Sorry Daisuke."

"That's okay." I placed them gently on the floor. "I'll just search through his drawers."

Humming one of Yamato's newest songs, I pawed through Ken's stuff. 

Nothing. 

"What are you looking for Dai?" Chibimon asked curiously.

"Don't know." I replied with a frown.

"Oh."

I opened another drawer and stared down at Ken's clothes. "He folds his underwear?" I pulled out a pair of plain white boxers and frowned at them. "Figures." The material was cool and soft under my fingers. I ran my hand over it, marveling and thinking. Ken would wear plain, dull, uniform boxers. He liked wearing things that made him bland. So people would leave him alone, most likely. If I was smart, I'd know why he was the way he was. But I wasn't, so I sort of felt the reasons behind his actions, but I could never pinpoint them. I caressed the fabric again. Ken wore these boxers. And under them, he'd be naked...

I dropped the boxers.

And took a step backwards.

Where the hell were these thoughts coming from?

I was sick.

Sighing, I folded it neatly and pushed it back into place. Think normal thoughts! I commanded my fantasies to leave me alone. "He's lucky he has such a cool friend," I told the Digimon. "My boxers are much more interesting."

The Digimon nodded silently, probably wondering what underwear was.

I stopped looking for whatever I was looking for. "I guess I should probably respect his privacy, huh?" Probably. Suddenly feeling guilty, I closed his drawers and scooted away from them.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you guys need me," I told the Digimon as I headed out, "Don't cause any trouble."

My house was full of photographs. Jun had gotten a camera for her thirteenth birthday, and she fancied herself a sort of professional artist. The only reason she had wanted the camera was because she needed it for when she stalked guys. But I guess all the stalking had made her a decent picture taker, and our walls were littered with her photos. She stopped with her photography stuff when she turned sixteen. I suppose she thought herself too old to be hanging out with her family. I didn't mind it, though. When Jun started refusing to come on family trips, my parent's had stopped them all together. That was good. Less time with the folks meant more time for me to be with my friends.

Hikari took pictures too. I liked Hikari's better, because I liked Hikari better. Her pictures were of me, or me with the rest of the group. They were more light-hearted than Jun's. 

Ken's walls were empty and hauntingly white.

The first time Ken came over, he marveled over the photographs. "So many memories!" He had exclaimed. It was weird, that he thought that our lives were interesting, interesting enough to stare at, but I had remained silent. He didn't want to remember his past, and neither did his parents. I had only seen one picture of his dead brother Osamu, and it was a simply framed photo that Ken kept on his desk.

They looked a lot alike. Ken and Osamu had the same strange dark amethyst eyes, and the same dark sapphire hair. Only Ken wore his down, in an almost girly fashion, where Osamu had spikes, kind of like my own mess of a style.

Ken spiked his hair too, once upon a time. When he was the Digimon Emperor, he looked a like his brother.

And that scared him. 

Ken hardly ever spoke of his brother, not unless I brought it up, and I tried not to. I hated hurting Ken. 

I made my way into Ken's kitchen, and opened his fridge. After staring into its innards for a few seconds, I concluded that he had nothing decent to eat.

With a sigh, I slammed the door closed and stood on tiptoe in order to explore his freezer.

"Success! Popsicles!" I grabbed a popsicle, unwrapped it as quickly as I could and popped it into my mouth. "Yum. Frozen goodness." I decided to take another, in case I lost the first one. I began to stroll around Ken's apartment again, my head full of wonders and my hands full of cold happiness on sticks.

Suddenly, Ken's front door clicked.

I sucked on my popsicle and tried to think of reason why a door would make such bizarre noises. Duh... Ken? Ken! It was Ken, putting his key in! Pleased with my discovery, I bounced to the door, and flung it open with a grin.

Ken blinked, staring at where the door had been. His key, clenched in his hand, hovered in mid air. "What the...?"

"Hi Ken!" I said, still grinning. "What's up?"

"Daisuke?" Ken blinked a few more times. "Hello."

"Hi." I said again. "Hey, do you want a popsicle?" 

Ken blinked some more. "Do you mind moving?" He said at last. "I want to come inside."

"Huh? Oh sorry." I stepped to the side, allowing Ken to enter. 

Ken nodded his thanks and walked into his apartment, me trailing behind him. "Is my mother home?"

"Nope." I answered, slurping on my popsicle. "She went to work. So do you want this popsicle or not? It's starting to melt all over me."

Ken turned, a whisper of a smile on his lips. "Sure Dai," he said, taking it from me. "And thank you."

"No problem, they're your popsicles anyway."

Ken smiled again and lowered himself into a chair at his kitchen table. "So what is it that you need help with today, Daisuke?" He asked, all business. "Algebra again?"

"Of course." I dropped myself into the chair next to him. "But what else is new?"

"Not much." Ken delicately licked the popsicle. "So, would you like to get started?"

"No, not really." I said honestly. "At least, not yet." The last thing I wanted to do was homework. I would have preferred getting my teeth pulled. Math was hard for me; granted all classes were, but math in particular was difficult. There was a quote in our school hallway, something along the lines of: "Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Math is a game with rules and no objectives". I totally agreed with that. Only I wasn't so hot in philosophy either.

"I'm guessing you don't ever want to do it."

"Damn straight!" I said, banging my fist on his table. Ken leaned on one upright arm, smiling at me. The moment was perfect, and the image of him burned permanently in my head. I made a mental note to draw a picture of the scene when I returned home. My silence must have disturbed Ken; he raised an eyebrow, a curious, expecting smile on his pale face. I snapped back and grinned at him, buying time to think of some way to prove my innocence. "Tell me about your day."

Ken's eyebrow arched higher. "Okay," he complied hesitantly, "I went to school, went to my classes, and then, for an exciting finish to an equally exciting day, I came home."

"That story sucked." I complained as I bit into my popsicle. "Tell it again, but make it good this time."

Ken's other eyebrow rose. "Why are you so interested in my day?"

I shrugged and stared at him. "Geez, you're so paranoid. I was just asking." I wasn't acting gay, was I? A fear settled in my stomach. He probably suspected...

That what?

I had already been over the facts. I wasn't gay. Ken was a friend. Nothing more.

When Ken said nothing, I rambled on. "So anyway, what do you think about art?"

"What kind of art?"

"You know," I struggled for a definition. "Art."

Ken sighed. "Art like in a museum?"

"Sure." I polished off my popsicle and broke the stick in half. "Like art in a museum."

"I admire the great artists," Ken replied, looking at me with a strange expression, "But I have no personnel artistic talents."

"But do you think it's lame?"

"I wouldn't admire them if I thought they were lame."

"I guess that's true." I leaned back in my chair. "So does that mean you go to the art museum every week?"

Ken narrowed his eyes. "No," he said, giving me another strange expression, "I've only been there once or twice."

"So will you bring me sometime?" Did I say that? I had actually asked to go to a museum. And not just any museum, but an art museum. After pondering over my insanity, I concluded that I had fallen on my head during soccer practice.

"Sure Daisuke." Ken looked equally taken aback. "Whenever you want."

"Great!" I grinned crookedly. "Now I'm ready to tackle math."

~~~

"And then you subtract the square root."

"But why?"

Ken tapped his pencil against my homework. "To make y equal zero."

"Why does y have to equal zero?"

"Because you're solving for x."

I stared at the paper, the numbers running into each other as I crossed my eyes. "Numbers and letters shouldn't be combined."

"Daisuke," Ken ran a hand through his hair, "You need to concentrate and stop complaining."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Thanks, oh powerful and mighty math super-star. But I like complaining. It's one thing I'm good at."

"Maybe we should just call it a night..." Ken stood up and stretched. "My back's beginning to hurt."

I stared harder at the paper in front of me. Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I just understand? Poor Ken, I glanced up at him, he tried too hard. I wasn't worth putting effort into. "Okay," I said slowly, giving my math homework one last chance to explain itself, "I guess I should head home."

Ken looked down at me hopefully. "On a second thought, you could stay for dinner," he suggested.

I hid a grin. The more time with Ken, the better. "I'm all for it," I said, pushing away the math paper. "We can play video games and-"

"We can keep working on your math."

I sighed, crestfallen. "Ken," I whined, "I don't wanna."

Ken laughed and picked up his phone. "I refuse to make you anything to eat until you finish your homework."

"Yes mommy."

Ken dialed a number, then tucked the phone under his ear. His inky hair slid over the plastic receiver in an amazing sexy manner.

I stopped, rewound, and erased the thought.

Maybe staying over wasn't such a good idea, I thought faintly as I stared at Ken. It was too late now though, Ken was already asking his mother. I sighed and tore my eyes away.

"Here Daisuke," Ken passed me his phone. "You can call your parents."

"Thanks." I took it, dialing my number. After a few rings, my sister picked up the phone.

"Yama?" She shrieked across the phone lines.

"No, it's me." I burst her bubble. "Hey, I'm staying over Ken's house for dinner. Tell the folks, okay?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Is that all? I'm waiting for Yama to call and you're holding up the line."

"Yamato won't call, Jun." I hung up the phone and rolled me eyes. 

Ken grinned at me. "Denial is a wonderful thing sometimes."

I shook my head. "I think Jun has a serious mental problem."

Ken nodded. "I'd have to agree with you," he said as he began to take pots out of his cupboard. "Now, what do you want to eat?"

I stood up and began to search through the cupboards with him. "What can you make?"

"Pretty much anything."

"Cake?"

Ken looked at me over his shoulder. "You can't have cake for dinner."

"Why not?"

Ken's mouth opened, and then after hanging for a second, closed. "All right." He said with a laugh, "You made an excellent argument Motomiya. Cake it is."

"Yes!" I cheered, throwing my hands up in the air in celebration before I fell back into my chair. "It had better be chocolate."


	8. If You Can't Stand the Heat

Phew! This took a great deal of time to write. The chapter was supposed to be longer, but for some reason I just had to end it when I ended it. Did that make any sense? Didn't think so.

Anywho, thanks Flair! For reading my crap, giving me the suggesting to change "patted" to "pounded", for IMing me, for letting me read your *awesome* fics, and for being a very cool person. Yay! You rule!

Anywho again, THANKS FOR READING MY FIC! It means so much to me! I love you all! And so does Daisuke! ^^

~*~

"Two eggs please."

I reached into Ken's fridge and pulled out two smooth eggs. "Got them," I replied, holding them out for inspection. "Should I break them?"

Ken pushed a small bowl over the counter. "Sure," he said, as he turned back to the recipe. "You do know how to break eggs, right?"

"Of course!" I huffed indignantly. "I know how to do everything!" I had watched my mother break eggs hundreds of times. And Taichi told me that he used to make breakfast for himself and Hikari. If Taichi could do something, then I could too.

Gingerly I tapped the egg on the rim of the bowl.

Nothing happened.

Just as gently I tried again, lightly touching the egg down.

Still nothing.

"Stupid egg," I tapped harder, "Break already!"

Still nothing.

"So that's how you want to play, huh?" With all my might, I smashed the pale egg against the bowl, wincing proudly as it broke. Splatters of the egg flicked onto my face, but most of it dripped in between of my fingers and onto Ken's counter, little pieces of egg shell dotting the white and yellow. "Success!"

Ken leaned over my shoulder. "The only problem Daisuke," he said slowly, "Is that we were trying to get the egg in the bowl. And without egg shells mixed in."

"Oh," I stared sadly at my slimy hand. "I guess I don't know how to do everything." I washed off my hands and wiped the egg off my face. "I suck."

"No you don't," Ken said, passing me the second egg. "You just need to be taught. Here," he placed his hand over mine, "Now, hit it gently, like this."

My heart pounded and I inhaled sharply. His touch was cool and warm all at once, and I was intoxicated by it.

Ken guided my hand, and together we cracked the egg. It split evenly in two, and the insides dropped neatly into the bowl.

"There," Ken said, letting my hand go, "Now you know how to do it."

I ducked my head, trying to control my swirling emotion. "Yeah," My voice cracked, "So, I should break another egg, right?"

"Please." Ken glided back to what he was doing, oblivious to my sufferings.

Light headed, I accomplished my mission, breaking the second egg. "All done."

"I knew you could do it." Ken said with an approving nod. "Next we need to sift flour. Want to do that?"

Ken's praise made me warm with happiness, and I jumped at the chance to earn some more. "No problem dude, I'll get right on it."

"Great." Ken handed me a metal can with a handle. "Here, you use this."

"Ken," I said, taking the object from him, "I hate to break it to you, but this is a can."

"No," Ken chuckled, "It's a sifter. See? Put the flour inside and then turn this handle. It'll grind the flour into a softer powder."

"Oh," I said, eyeing the can suspiciously. "If you say so."

Obediently I sifted the flour. It was pointless, it was mind numbing, but Ken had asked me to do it. Ken could ask anything of me and I'd do it with a smile, no matter what the task.

We were both silent, me sifting flour and Ken looking gorgeous as he mixed the other ingredients. I was struck with just how right everything felt. It seemed so natural that we'd be working together. That we'd be doing such a domestic task together. That we'd be sharing such a perfect moment.

I couldn't help but stare at Ken. He was so beautiful. Everything about him was poetry. He was divine, I was sure of that. His movements were slinky and smooth, his hair looking inviting soft, his eyes sparkled purple and his lips pouted outwards slightly, his ivory mouth frowning as he concentrated.

My heart pounded again, and I dropped my eyes, away from Ken. My thoughts were full of images of him. 

It wasn't fair.

I put all my energy into sifting. Numbly I watched the white powder drift into the bowl. It was like snow. Like the first snow of winter. It was like staying up really late to watch as white diamond flakes danced downwards, as if the show was only for you.

But it was only flour.

And I was only Daisuke.

~~~

I bent over, looking into the red darkness of Ken's oven. "So it'll be done soon, right?"

"No, not for a while." 

"Oh." I stood up, looking sadly at the baking bowl. "But I'm hungry now."

Ken laughed. "You're the one who wanted cake." He pointed out, wagging a finger at me. "But fear not, we do have food in my house."

"Yeah, but not good food." I grumbled as I sat down at the kitchen table. "Not cake."

"Catch." Ken threw an apple towards me. I caught it, of course. "Eat this."

"Okay." I bit into it, savoring the juicy freshness. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." Ken had an apple too. Mesmerized, I watched him bite into it, watched his pink tongue slide over the red skin, and watched his pearly teeth rip into the apple's pale flesh.

I licked my lips, my eyes stuck on his mouth. What did he taste like? Would Ken be sweet? Sweet, but not like candy. Ken would be a dark, silky taste. Like night.

Like what? What was I thinking?

"Let's try to do some more math, okay?"

Ken's voice drew me back to reality. My eyes refocused and a smile formed. "Whatever you want, Ken."

He stood up, giving me a wry, crooked grin. "Yes, what I want to do is math. Your math, I might add." He grabbed my homework from the counter and dropped it in front of me. "Come on Daisuke, I know you can do this. You were on number twelve, right?"

"Probably." I arranged the papers neatly and stared at the problem. "Yeah, number twelve."

Ken scooted his chair over closer to me. "Right." He said, pressing a slender finger down next to the numbers. "So we have to isolate y."

"Stupid y." I grumbled. "I hate y." I scribbled some numbers down, moving everything so that y was left by itself. "Poor y. Nobody likes it."

Ken chuckled softly. "Anyway, now you can solve for x."

"Yeah yeah." I scribbled some more. "Stupid x."

Ken moved in even closer. "Right, see, I told you that you can do it. Once y is alone, you can solve for it."

"Poor y." I said again. "I'll be y's friend."

"Now, for this problem, you have to graph the answer."

"First I integrate y, right?"

"Isolate. But yes."

Just like I had done for the problem before, I made y stand alone. "There." I said when I had finished. "That part is done."

"Good." Ken nodded his head as he scanned over my work. "Now, use the equation at the top to make a graph."

I could feel Ken's warm breath on my cheek, and when I moved my head, a few strands of his hair brushed against me. It was torture. I was so close to him that I could smell his scent, and he smelled delicious. "This equation?" I forced myself to concentrate.

"Yes. That one."

Eager to please, I did as I was told. With Ken guiding me towards the answers, math made a lot more sense. 

Ken hummed a pleased note. "Right! I knew that you could do it!"

I grinned at my paper. "That wasn't so bad!"

"I told you so." Ken leaned back in his chair. "Now you can finish the rest."

I was sorry that Ken had moved away. I bit down on my lip, but kept on working.

~~~

"There! I'm finally done!" I stuffed my homework into my backpack and stretched back in my chair. "Thanks for your help, Ken."

"You're welcome Daisuke." Ken stretched as well. "It was no problem."

"That's good." I stood up and walked over to Ken's oven. I bent at the waist, peering into the dark red stomach of metal. "When will the cake be done?"

"When the timer goes off." Ken replied. "Would you like to play some video games now, Daisuke?"

I turned, my eyebrows raised. Ken tried too hard to please me. Did he think that I would leave him if I wasn't always satisfied? Did he think that I was only his friend so that I could use him? Did he have such little faith in me? In himself? "Sure, Ken. Whatever you want."

Ken's eyes flickered to meet mine, and I was lost again in their beauty. Then he shrugged slightly and broke our stare. "Okay then, we can play until cake's done."

Ken led me into his family room, and we flopped onto the ground next to each other.

I grabbed a controller and settled into my video game position. "All right, be prepared to have your ass totally whipped."

"Eat shit, Motomiya," Ken said cheerfully back at me, surprising me with his unusually vulgar words. "And prepare to die." 

~~~

Our all-out-war ended when a loud ring echoed in from the kitchen.

"Cake's done." Ken stood up and turned off the video game and TV in one fluid motion.

I stood up after him; following behind him like a puppy. A lovesick puppy. So, was this puppy love? Or was I just obsessed with dogs?

Ken bent over, looking into the oven. After a moment of consideration, he grabbed a towel, wrapped it around the cake's baking dish, and pulled the steaming dessert out of the oven. 

It smelled heavenly. Almost as good as Ken. "I want cake!"

"Not yet." Ken put the cake on the counter. "It's too hot. You have to wait."

"Damn. I hate waiting." I inhaled deeply; sucking in as much as of delicious scent as my lungs could contain. I didn't want to wait. I wanted cake. I poked a finger into the cake's center and hissed with pain as the evil food burnt my finger. Yelping, I jumped back and stuck my finger in my mouth. Evil cake, with it's evil, tempting smell. "Ouch!"

Ken shook his head and gave me a slow smile. "Daisuke, I warned you."

I glared at him and sucked on my finger. I couldn't talk, what with half my hand in my mouth, so I satisfied myself with giving him a low growl. 

His smile changed into a smirk, then back into a smile. "Don't worry Daisuke, I'll get you a band-aid for that."

With another angry noise, I climbed onto his counter to sulk. I kicked my heals against the wood cabinets and continued to suck on my finger. As usually, I had done something stupid, even though Ken had warned me ahead of time. I decided that I should start listening to advice.

Ken appeared in the kitchen, a bandage in one hand and a pot of something in the other. I glared at him again.

"This stuff helps with burns," he said, holding the jar out for my inspection. "It'll make your finger feel better, I promise."

After a moment of consideration, I pulled my throbbing finger from my mouth. "I suppose..."

Gingerly, Ken took my hand. "Once, when I was very little, I burnt myself on the oven. Osamu made me sit on the counter, in almost the same spot you are."

Ken's voice had become very quiet. He was holding my hand and his grip tightened slightly, but not enough to hurt.

I was lost again. Suddenly my finger didn't hurt as much any more. I gathered enough courage to raise my head, and I looked at Ken's face.

Our eyes met and his stare softened. "At least you're not crying," he said with a forced laugh.

I knew that he had been remembering when he had been hurt. Sam was one part of Ken's life that I'd never be able to share. Ken had lost something that nothing could replace. It was more than that, obviously. Sam's death had been more than just a loss. 

Ken scooped some glop out of the jar and lightly dabbed it onto my blistering finger. "Does that feel any better?"

The gooey stuff was cool; I'd give it that much. But having Ken so close, and having Ken touch me, made me feel much better than any type of medicine. "Yeah, I think so."

"Good." Ken pealed paper of a bandage and curled it around the injured finger. "All set. What a brave little patient you were."

"I do have the crest of Courage." I reminded him as I looked my finger over. Then, with a grin, I winked at him. "And you're such a good doctor. What with your loving touch and all."

Ken laughed too. "Come on Daisuke, I believe we were in the middle of a game."

"Right," I hopped from my perch. "I was in the middle of kicking your ass, if I do remember correctly."

"Or something like that."

I grinned again. Sometimes, life works out for the best.

~~~

"That was some damn good cake," I sighed happily as I finished the last piece of cake. "My compliments to the chef."

"I can't believe you ate so much." Ken stared at me in awe. "You defy the laws of physics, Daisuke."

I rubbed a hand over my full stomach. "It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it." Heaven was being sated with warm chocolate cake and having Ken next to me. It was a double whammie. If I had died that instant, I would have died totally content.

"Amazing." Ken shook his head, his hair swishing gently. "You're completely amazing."

My heart flipped flopped. And then did a cartwheel. And then a full back flip, a round off and two splits. Ken said that I was amazing. That was good... right? That meant that he liked me. That meant that he wanted to marry me, carry me off to a private cottage by the ocean and have ten thousand of my babies.

Right?

Right.

After my heart had finished its gymnastic routine, I was able to think straight again. I needed to say something profound. Something that would seal our fate together. Something that would make him swoon and fall into my arms.

"I have to go home now." 

***

Okay! End of this chapter! Thanks for reading!


	9. Foolishness

Okay, Daisuke is really *really* out of character in this chapter... and I apologize for that.

I want to thank everyone who's been reviewing my stuff. So, THANK YOU! Thank you thank you thank you!

~*~

What the hell was wrong with me? Was I insane? That had to be the answer. I was insane. Yes.

My train stopped and I stepped out. It was almost eight at night, but the sunlight hadn't died yet. I stood there, right in front of the train's door, staring at the fading day above me. Someone behind me prodded me out of his or her way and I tripped forward with a curse. In my backpack, Chibimon squeaked a complaint. It was my fault; I shouldn't have been standing in people's way. Sighing, I shuffled towards my apartment, trying to remember when exactly I had lost my mind.

I stared at the sidewalk as I walked, gazing sadly at the cracks and shatters in the cement. The poor ground, it was always walked on and it was never appreciated. People dropped their trash on it, jumped on it, let their dogs make messes on it...

I stumbled towards my apartment. The walk from the train station to home was a short one, but I dragged the time one, making a usually five minute trip stretch to a twenty minute one.

It had already been established that I was crazy and sick. Normal people did not lust over their best friends, especially when the best friend was a guy. It just wasn't done. What had gone wrong with me? How come all the bad things only happened to me? Was I cursed? Or just stupid?

"Daisuke!"

I looked up, annoyed. Was I beginning to hear voices too? 

"Daisuke, you dolt, I've been calling your name for the past two minutes!"

Voices that insulted me. Great. That was just what I needed.

"Hello? Daisuke? Are you sleep-walking or something?"

I cursed my luck. Voices in my head that said nasty things about me. And they weren't even doing it behind my back! 

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Daisuke, dude, have you gone deaf?"

"Huh?" I turned around, coming face to face with a grinning Taichi. "Oh, sorry dude. I thought that I was hearing voices."

Tai gave me a strange look. "Well, you are crazy..."

I nodded glumly. "Sucks to be me."

Taichi chuckled. "Don't be so hard on yourself, it could be worse. Anyway," Tai swung an arm around my shoulder, "Changing the subject, feel like going on a jog with me?"

For the first time, I realized that he was wearing a pair of grass-stained shorts and an equally grimy tee shirt. He wasn't sweating, not really, but his breaths were short and quick, and his eyes were bright with energy.

Tai was my idol. Tai was everything that I wished I was. Taichi was tall, had awesome hair, was the best soccer player ever to grace the surface of our planet, and he got to sleep in the same room as Hikari.

"Sure." I wasn't in the mood to go home and face my sister, so I accepted the invitation happily. "I'll have to change though. Want to come in and get something to drink?"

"Daisuke, you read my mind."

~~~

"Hey Jun?" I kicked open the door and led Tai inside. "I'm going for a jog, okay?"

Jun was in the kitchen, making something on the stove. She glanced up, nodded at me and waved at Taichi. "Sure, squirt, whatever."

"Cool. I'll be right back, okay Tai?" I hurried to my room, quickly stripping and changing into appropriate running clothes.

Chibimon had crawled out of my backpack and was sitting on the ground, watching me as I ran around my room trying to find socks. "You look funny."

I scrambled into a pair of shorts, not noticing that they were inside out until I had attempted to stick candy into a pocket. Sighing, I tore the shorts off, fixed them, and pushed my legs into the correct places. "Thanks buddy. Are my shorts on backward or something?"

"Nope." My Digimon shook his head. "But you look silly because you're acting like Jun before she goes to see Yamato."

"Do not!"

"Do too." Chibimon crossed his arms over his tiny chest. "Yep."

"Look, I just want Taichi to think that I'm cool, I'm not trying to make him fall in love with me or anything." I adjusted my goggles until they rested perfectly on my head. "Tai's my hero. He's the coolest kid ever. If he thinks that I'm cool, then that will mean... Oh I don't know. It'll mean something though."

"Jun tries to impress Yamato."

"Yeah, that's true." Chibimon, although I loved him, couldn't understand the problems of humans. I rubbed his head affectionately. "But she's trying to win his heart, not his friendship. See the difference?"

Chibimon frowned thoughtfully. "I guess so. I think I do, anyway."

"Good." After another glance in my mirror, I knew I was ready. "See you later buddy, okay?"

"Have a good run Daisuke!" Chibimon waved a blue paw. "Bring me back some icecream!"

~~~

"...But I always thought you were good at writing." Tai was leaning against my fridge, a can of soda in hand. "I mean, you wrote all those stories about you and Yama, right? The ones in that fanclub newspaper, didn't you?"

"Yeah." My sister sat at our table, staring sadly at her open chemistry book. "And that's the problem."

I took the opportunity to interrupt the moment. "What's a problem? What are you guys talking about?"

Jun shrugged her shoulders and stood up. "Nothing, squirt. School stuff."

"Oh." The conversation was closed. I wondered what they had been chatting about, and why I wasn't allowed to join in, but I let it slide, deciding instead to focus my attention on Taichi. "Anyway Tai, I'm ready."

"Cool." Tai gave me a grin. "So am I. Let's go. See you later Jun."

"Have a good time guys. Daisuke, try to be home before ten o'clock, all right?"

"No problem." I waved to my sister. "Later." Bouncing with energy, I opened my front door and lunged into the hallway. "Come on Tai! I wanna run!"

"Hold on dude!" Tai laughed as he followed me. "Usually people jog when they're outside, not as they go to the elevator."

I slowed down, falling into step next to Taichi. Once, Takeru told me that I looked just like Tai, that I was almost his clone. I wished that that was true. I wish that I was a miniature Tai. I wanted to be just like him. Who wouldn't want to be just like him? Taichi was an awesome soccer player, he was the best friend of the star singer of the Teenage Wolves, his sister was Hikari, and he had been going out with Sora (a babe in a bathing suit) for years. He was also super nice and way cool, singularly the best seventeen-year-old on the planet.

Yamato was cool too. He let me hang out with him whenever I wanted, and he let me go behind the stage at his concerts. I had only been to one of his concerts, but it rocked. It was funny watching my sister gush over him. Funny and sort of sad, though I hadn't been sure why. I had a better idea once I had learned that Hikari liked Takeru instead of me, but the realization of rejection still didn't explain why Jun had refused to stop following him. He continued to politely blow her off; no matter what she did, he wasn't interested. That didn't change the fact that he was cool though.

I liked Koushiro as well. It was hard to get close to him since he was so smart and I was so dumb, but I thought he was cool anyway. One time he came over to fix our computer. After he was done it ran twice as fast as it had done previously. Then he fixed our television and programmed our VCR. The kid was a genius.

Jyou and Sora floated in a haze of distant friendliness. They were both nice, but I had never gotten close to either of them. I knew of them, and I counted them as my friends, but what I shared with them couldn't compare to my relationship I had with Tai.

Mimi lived in America, but the few times that we had met, I fell in love with her. Not really, of course, but we bonded together or something. It probably had to do with the fact that people had always doubted our abilities, but I wasn't sure. I had never been good in psychology.

The elevator ride was done in silence. I didn't want to bug Tai with my meaningless dribble of conversation, and he seemed just as uneager to talk. I didn't mind though, just being with Tai was good enough.

"All right Daisuke," We stepped out of the building,pausing to let Tai stretch one of his long legs. "I figure we can go through the par, just following the path. It's simple, so we won't get lost, quiet, so we won't run into other people, and cool, so we don't pass out. Sound okay to you?"

"Sounds like a plan and a half." I agreed with a nod. "And Tai?"

"What?"

I grinned and stifled a cackle. "Race ya!"

I bolted down the path, still chuckling to myself. The sound of my feet hitting the pavement fell in time with my heartbeat, and the world blurred around my eyes.

The air, which had been thick and still, suddenly whipped around my face, a thin wind that sliced into my skin. My eyes watered, but I blinked away the moisture and continued my flight. 

I had always loved running. It was a way for me to leave everything behind. I liked the way that I could escape everything and how no one could catch me, no matter how hard they tried.

That was one reason I enjoyed soccer so much. As soon as I got the ball, I was off. 

I didn't like running in races though. Somehow, the whole idea of having someplace to run to, or some reason to run, bugged me. It took away the wildness of it all. The savageness. The innocence. It cheapened the experience.

Or whatever.

"Oh you are so going to die." Tai panted out the words, his voice getting louder as he caught up to me. "Prepare to have your ass kicked and left in the dust."

I didn't have enough breath to snap back, so I grinned at him. My legs burned and my lungs wheezed for air, but I didn't stop running. I forced my muscles to continuing, ignoring the searing pain of exhaustion.

Tai was running beside me, threatening to pass me if I didn't speed up.

I tried. I tried my damndest to go faster. But I had my limits, and sometimes I failed.

My legs wobbled and stiffened and I knew that I had lost. 

Tai zoomed past me, his arms waving in self-congratulations. "Once again, Yagami is the winner! The crowd goes wild!"

I collapsed on the ground, huffing and puffing for air. "Damn." I gasped out the word and closed me eyes. "Damn."

I heard Tai fall next to me. His loud breathing told me that he suffered from the race as well, and I was pleased. At least I had given him a challenge.

We were both too tired to talk, so we lay on the grass, winded but content, until our hearts calmed back down to normal speed.

"It was supposed to be a jog." 

I opened my eyes and stared at the darkening sky. "Yeah. So it was."

"That wasn't a jog."

I rolled onto my side to face Tai. He looked smug and amused, but I wasn't sure about what. He raised his eyebrows and waited for my response.

"I dunno." I shrugged and looked away. "I just wanted to run."

Tai's eyebrows raised again. "Fair enough." 

A nagging worry appeared in my head. "Hey Taichi, remember when you were talking in the kitchen with my sister?"

"Yeah. It was only about half an hour ago."

"Well, what were you talking about?"

Tai picked at a blade of grass. "School stuff. Nothing interesting. Why?"

I shrugged again. "Jun's been acting kind of weird lately. I mean, more weird than usual. I was just wondering what caused her strangeness." That was true. I didn't add that I thought that perhaps I was causing my sister's depression. It was possible that it was my fault. Everything was always my fault.

He laughed and punched me lightly on the shoulder. "What a good little brother you are, Dai. Don't worry, if Jun can't handle anything, I'm sure that you'll be there to support her. Now come on, I still need a jog. Only this time I mean a real jog. No more insane running."

He stood up and offered a hand. "Come on Daisuke, you've rested enough."

I accepted his hand and he pulled me up. "Okay Taichi," I brushed the dirt and grass from my back, "But keep in mind that I'll need icecream at the end of this, so make sure that your path brings us near someplace where you can buy me some."

"Where I can buy you icecream? Oh I think not." Tai grinned and began to jog away. "I won the race, I think that you owe me icecream as a prize."

"No fair!" I caught up with him and fell into pace beside him. "It should be a consolation for losing!"

Tai grinned again. He was the type of person who liked everything, the type of person who laughed at things that most people wouldn't find funny. I was like him in that aspect. We both were easily amused. But we had different reasons. I was stupid, so I was awed at everything, and awe usually translated into amusement. Tai, however, had a good heart and honestly enjoyed everything. "Geez, is nothing good enough for you? First I give you my goggles, and then I pass over the torch of Digidestined leadership... and now I have to buy you food?"

"Please Tai?" I made a sad pouty face and sniffed sadly. "Nevermind, it's okay. It's just that my parent's don't feed me enough and I hate begging for food at night. Sometimes I have to fight off rats to get to the food that people throw away... I guess I should be thankful though, sometimes people will toss a whole meal into the garbage..."

"Okay! I get it!" Tai's grin grew, and he chuckled into between breaths. "I'll buy you icecream. You win this round, Motomiya."

"Sweet!" I skipped ahead of Taichi. "Finally, Daisuke wins!"

~~~

"Icecream..." I could hear the icecream calling my name, and I answered by drooling. "Tai," I whined as we drew closer to the icecream stand, "I want icecream!"

"You're getting some! Can't you wait one more minute?"

"No! Need it now!" I sounded like Chibimon but I didn't care.

Tai grumbled but pulled out money from his pocket. "What do you want?"

"Something chocolate!"

I found a bench to relax on while Taichi bought me food. I wished that he was brother, and that we did something together everyday, especially if he kept buying me treats. I cursed my luck. Instead of having a cool older sibling, I was stuck with Jun the demon girl.

"Here Daisuke." Tai held out some type of chocolate icecream. "Quick, before it melts."

"Thanks Tai." I took the icecream and greedily shoved it into my mouth. 

I was reminded of my day, and how I had shared a similar moment with Ken. It was strange, how one action could have such a different feeling when shared with different people. When it had been me and Ken, I was jittery and excited, but with Tai, I was comfortable. I had completely different relationships with them.

I had another realization: I had been eating almost nothing but junk food all day. It'd serve me right if I got cavities. 

I wondered what Ken was doing. It sucked that he lived on the other side of the city. Once I told him that he had to move because I didn't like not having him close by. I had added that he could live with me and share my room. 

"Crap!" I choked on my icecream. What a stupid thing to say to him! Of course, he would think that I liked him!

"Daisuke, are you okay man?"

I coughed and spit out the icecream that had lodged in my throat. Hacking, I managed a nod. "I'm perfect."

Tai looked skeptical, but dropped the subject. "So... what have you been up to lately?"

It had felt like a loving domestic scene when I had sat with Ken, but sitting with Taichi made me feel like I supposed to feel, like a normal kid with a normal life. Meaning, people walking by saw Taichi and me as two regular kids. Two stereotypical boys, eating icecream after having done normal boy activities. They probably thought that we were talking about girls, sports, or some other normal guy conversation topic.

I didn't want to ruin it all by blabbing about drawing or about my confused feelings about Ken.

Tai was what I wanted to be. Tai was the epitome of everything.

So was Ken, but in a totally different way. Ken was perfect, obviously, but so was Tai. They were just different types of perfection.

"Not much." I decided to finally answer the question. "School sucks as usual, soccer's been okay, and that's my life."

"What an exciting life you lead."

"What about you?" I turned the tables. "What's been going on in the magical, mystical world of Taichi?"

"Very interesting and astounding things." Tai said with a laugh. "First off, school sucks. And soccer is okay."

"Good gads!" I pretended to fall off the bench. "I just can't handle all this awesome information!"

"I'm learning how to play the guitar."

Now that was interesting. I sat back up. "Really? Dude that's cool! Who's teaching you?"

"Yama." Taichi leaned back, linking his arms together behind his head. "He said that he could use another player in his band. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I'm doing it."

"Lucky." Tai was so cool. Playing the guitar was yet another perfect thing he did. "Chicks dig musicians."

"Yep, and Yama knows all about that." Tai stood up and threw his icecream wrapper into the trash. "Come on Daisuke, it's getting late and you told your sister that you'd be home by ten."

"Yes Mom." I said in a singsong voice. "Must be back in time for bedtime!"

Taichi shook his head but smiled. "Hurry up Dai, I'll race you home!"

~~~

I loved taking showers. There was something almost religious about them. I liked baths too. When I was little I used to play in the water for hours, manning my toy boats, fighting off toy sea monsters, and laughing attacks on my toy army men.

Being older meant that I couldn't have fun anymore. One could fun only at certain appropriate times. Showers were for cleaning one's body, not for playing games.

I still like bathing though. I liked hot water and I liked singing in the shower. And afterwards, it was like all my skin could breathe.

I stood under the running water for a good twenty minutes before I made any attempt to clean myself. It was nice to have the cool water on my sticky hot skin, and I relished in the experience.

I searched through our supply of shampoos, conditioners, body washes, and face scrubs, looking for something normal an not girly to wash my hair with.

One of the down sides of having a sister was that her stupid girl things littered our apartment.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" My search had been in vain, no regular stuff had been found. So, I decided to use the weirdest ones that my sister owned. I wanted to come out smelling like a fruit salad.

Well, I was a fruit, wasn't I?

"No," I told a bottle of shampoo firmly. "I am not gay. I am not in love with Ken. I want to smell nice to... impress... Chibimon!"

The shampoo bottle was silent.

"Some help you are," I grumbled as I opened it. I poured some of the goo onto my palm, reading the label as I rubbed it in my hair. "Strawberry Kiwi Passionfruit Madness. Sounds good to me."

Once I finished with that, I moved on to body wash. "Grapefruit Lemon Lime Dessert." I pondered that for a mooment before giving in. Well, I do like desserts."

Half an hour later, I stepped out of the shower, scented a delicious combination of every fruit on the planet.

I was pleased.

Dripping water everywhere, I scurried into my room and closed my door. Chibimon was curled in a furry blue ball on my bed, so I stepped quietly around my room, gathering items of clothes.

I had just slipped into my boxers when I caught a glimpse of myself in my mirror. Smitten by my reflection I stopped to admire myself.

"You are one fine foxy lady." I posed for myself. "Damn, how come you don't have oodles of girls swarming over you?"

That was an upsetting question.

I sat on my bed, careful not to disturb my Digimon. How come people didn't like me? I smelled good, so body odor wasn't a reason. I liked soccer, so I wasn't weird. So, what was it?

Why did Hikari choose Takeru over me?

I sighed and put on an old tee-shirt to sleep in. Life wasn't fair. 

It sucked being me.

***

Bleh. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Au revoir for now! And thanks again!


	10. A General Lacking

Just another day in the life of Dai ^^

~*~

Once a week Takeru came to my house to hang out until his mom came home. She was a journalist or whatever, and she had strange hours of work. So, Takeru stayed with me until about seven at night once a week, and the other days he'd spend with Hikari, Iori, Miyako, his brother, or Taichi. Basically, he got to be over someone's house everyday, the lucky bastard.

When Takeru first started coming over, my sister would sit him down and get as much information about Yamato as she could. The harassment had lessened considerable since the first days when Takeru was over our apartment, but if she could catch him before we ducked into my room, she'd still demand information.

Walking home with Takeru was fun. Despite the fact that he was my archenemy and that I hated him, he was still a cool friend and I enjoyed hanging with him. Sometimes we'd play basketball or soccer, sometimes we'd do homework, or sometimes we'd go down to Miyako's family's store and bother either her or her siblings. It was fun having a friend to do evil, devious deeds with.

Takeru was a lot different from Ken. Comparing the blondie to Ken was like comparing an ant to a butterfly, or a pony to an unicorn. It didn't make Takeru any less cool, but spending time with him was not the same as spending time with Ken.

"So Yamato's all bent out of shape because he has some massively huge and important concert coming up and apparently no one in the band is taking it seriously." Takeru sighed and shook his head. "I know that they'll be fine and I've been telling Yamato that since forever, but he still frets over it. He hasn't slept in days. My dad's really worried about him."

"Mmm." I agreed politely, although I didn't give a damn about Yamato's problem. Yamato's issue couldn't hold a flame to the crap I had to deal with everyday in my life. Clearly my dilemma with my relationship with Ken and Hikari was a thousand times worse, and then my new found skills in drawing was a giant headache, and then there was that tiny little thing about the fact that I had a biology test in three days which I hadn't really been studying for. Yeah, my life was better off dead.

"Anyway," Takeru's blue gaze slid over to me, "How has your life been? Had any sibling problems lately?"

I rolled my eyes. "Takeru, I live with Jun. Everyday is a living hell."

Takeru chuckled. "Surely she isn't that bad. Even Yamato says that she isn't as annoying as she used to be."

"Well, Yamato knows nothing. And don't call me Shirley."

"Huh?" Takeru blinked his big eyes. "Nevermind, I don't want to know. Changing the subject, how'd you do on the last math test?"

I shrugged and looked away. I had just barely passed, even with all the hours that Ken had put into teaching me algebra. When I told Ken my grade, he was angry, then regretful. It had annoyed me that he had blamed himself for my failure, but I had known that I'd never be able to change his mind. I had made some kind of lame joke to get a smile out of him, and when he did finally give into my antics and break into his perfect grin, I knew that all had been forgiven.

"Well?" Takeru prompted. "Come on, you couldn't have done that bad with all of Ken's help."

I gritted my teeth. If I had done well it would have been because Ken had helped me. Would I ever succeed in life? Apparently only if I had someone leading me. 

Or whatever. 

I wasn't even making sense anymore. The idea was there, but clearing it into a logical thought was too hard for me.

I began to think that everything was too hard for me.

Or whatever.

"Eh, the usual," I said in a normal voice. "I heard that Hikari aced it."

"Yeah, she was pretty happy about it." Takeru said with a small laugh. 

I knew that he wanted to continue the conversation, but I definitely did not. "Hey, we're at my complex, so let's hurry. I have to go the bathroom like there's no tomorrow."

"I didn't need to hear that." Takeru mumbled as he followed me into the elevator.

~~~

"Hey Jun-bug, we're home!" I led Takeru in, and we threw our shoes at the wall as we entered. "Takeru's here!"

Jun was in the kitchen, a spoon of icecream in her mouth. "Hey little bro. And hi Takeru. What's up today?"

I wasn't sure to whom she directed the question, but I answered. "Eh, the usual. You know what? We have to do a leaf collection for Biology. How much does that suck?"

Jun nodded. "Mmm. I did that. Got an A. It was easy. If you actually do it, you'll probably get a good grade for once."

"What, me? Are you suggesting that I could actually pass Biology? It could never happen." I opened my fridge and pulled out two cans of soda. "Here Hat-boy, catch."

"Thanks." Takeru, being the sport ace that he is, caught the can in one hand.

"Not a problem." I sat in the seat next to my sister and peered into her bowl. "What kind of icecream is that?" I stuck my finger into it, and tasted it carefully. "Chocolate?"

"Super Chocolate Lover's Dream, actually." Jun said as she licked her spoon clean. "And you guys can't eat any of it."

"What?" Takeru and I exclaimed at the same time. "But-"

"Nope." Jun spooned another glop into her mouth. "It's all mine. Now," she waved a sticky hand at us, "Be gone. You are dismissed form my presence."

"Fine." I motioned to Takeru. "Come on Takeru, let's go to my room and let Miss Piggy finish her icecream."

"See you later," Takeru called to my sister before he followed me down the hall. "Hey Dai…"

"Huh?" I pushed my door open. "What?"

Takeru closed the door behind him and gave my a strange look. "Was it just me, or was Jun less crazy than usual? I mean… is something wrong?"

I raised an eyebrow. So, I wasn't the only one who noticed.

Takeru, misinterpreting my reaction to that of disbelief, doubt, and overall disgust, kept babbling. "I mean, she didn't even ask one question about Yama! I find that… odd. You don't?"

Chibimon had scurried out of my backpack leaving it free for me to rummage through. I let Takeru wait for my answer until I found my goggles. I had had physical education last period, and my teacher had made me take them off. We were playing on the high bars and he said that if I got caught on one of the bars, I could choke myself. It didn't make any sense to me, but when he threatened with detention, I had complied. "There!" I slid them back into place and turned around to face Takeru. "I find you odd."

"Oh."

"Just kidding. Yeah, I agree with you. Jun's been all spaced out lately." I pushed my bag off my bed and flopped onto my soft blanket. "She won't tell me about it though."

"Oh." Takeru looked concerned. Takeru seemed to always look concerned, so I didn't pay it much mind. He seemed to get upset about everything, like he was amazed that not everything in the world worked in perfect harmony. Takeru was definitely a strange little boy.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," I hopped over Chibimon (who was playing a game of tic-tac-toe with Patamon), "Nature calls."

I plodded along to my bathroom, and after dealing with that call from Nature, proceeded back to my room. Jun was still seated at the kitchen table and still slurping her icecream. "Hey Jun-bug?"

I must have startled her, because she dropped her spoon right into her bowl. "Huh?"

"It's just me, relax. I… wanted to know…" Why exactly had I called to her? I had a feeling that we were both holding in something (well, I knew that I had some deep dark secrets that I was hiding) but I couldn't blurt out and ask her what was wrong. She wouldn't answer, just like I wouldn't answer if someone asked me. All Motomiya's are alike. It drove my mother nuts. "When… Mom and Dad are coming home?"

Jun shrugged and picked up her spoon. "Probably around eleven. Why?"

"No reason." I started back to my room. "Just curious if I'd ever see my parents again." While it was true that my parents worked a lot, it wasn't like they had abandoned us. Both of them only worked half days on Saturday, and both had Sunday off. It was nice not having them breathing down my neck all the time, but sometimes I sort of wished that they were at home to take care of me.

Or whatever.

Back in my room, Takeru was losing to Chibimon in a hard-core match of tic-tac-toe. 

"Go Chibi!" I cheered as I slammed the door behind me. "Kick blondie's butt!"

Chibimon squinted hard at the piece of paper. After scratching down an X, he threw his tiny arms in the air. "I win! Yay for me! Three in a row! Tic-tac-toe!"

"Yay!" I cheered with him. "Awesome job! You rule." I picked him up and swung him in a circle.

"Humph." Takeru grumbled from his seat. "I think he cheated."

Chibi and I stuck out our tongues at him. "Face it Takeru," I said as Chibimon continued to gloat, "You suck."

"Bite me." Takeru returned the gesture.

I grinned. Another reason why I liked Takeru was because it felt like we were on the same ball field. It was like we could be friends because we didn't have so many differences. He was a boy, like me, in my grade, liked sports, and was a Digidestined… the kind of things that I was. Of course we had a thousand different differences, but that was okay too. I didn't need to worry about impressing Takeru and that's why I liked him.

Or whatever.

"I think that Chibimon deserves a prize." I said thoughtfully. "And I think that you should buy it for him." Chibimon squealed and giggled in my arms. "What do you say, Chibi? Should Takeru buy you some candy?"

"Candy!"

"What?" Takeru pretended to be shocked. "Why should I fork over my precious money?"

"Because you lost." I said, matter-of-fact. "Come on, let's go to Miyako's store."

Takeru shrugged his agreement. "Sure. I'm game."

"Cool." I grabbed a wad of money off my floor and stuck it in my back pocket. "Come on hat-head, let's bust out of this joint."

"Yeah," Takeru grinned with me and pulled his hat tight on his head. "Let's blow this Popsicle stand."

So we did.

~~~

"May I help you?"

"Yes." I cleared my throat and did my best snobby British accent. "I'd like you're finest caviar, and don't go lightly on the goo."

Yukio leaned on the cash register. "It gets funnier everytime you say that, Dai. It really does."

Takeru snickered behind me. 

I sighed and pretended to be hurt. "Some people just don't appreciate good humor anymore."

"Anyway Yukio, is your sister around anywhere?"

"Yeah," I peeked over the counter, trying to see into the employers' room (also known as the Inoue home). "We want to bother Miya."

"Sorry guys, you're out of luck." Yukio shook his head, his earring catching my attention as he moved. "She's over a friend's house today."

I wanted an earring. Then everyone would want me. It was simple. Yukio was Miyako's older brother, and he was the same age as Jun. According to my gossipy sister, Yukio was quite the charmer. He had even made a pass on her (for reasons I never understood), but she remained ever faithful to her beloved Yamato. It was sad that Yamato hated her guts. Sad and yet strangely humorous. But even she had to tear her eyes from the glorious Yamato to admire Yukio. He walked around his house without a shirt on and talked on the phone even more than Jun. Girls loved him, guys wanted to be him. I hated that. I figured that if I had an earring that I would inherit some coolness. Then maybe guys would want me.

"Correction," I mumbled under my breath, "_Girls_ would want me."

Of course my parents wouldn't let me pierce any part of my body. My father said that I had enough holes in my head, and my mother said that as soon as I aced all my subjects she'd consider it. Basically I could never get an earring, at least not until I moved out, anyway.

Yukio didn't have to listen to things like that at his house. He was a good kid (as far as his parents knew) and spent three days a week managing his family's store because he knew that (and I quote from the man himself) "responsibility and faithfulness to one's family are the two most important ideals that a man can hold in his heart." He said this one time to me, very loudly and in a very clear voice, so that his parents would hear and love him for it. It worked.

"Don't you guys have anything better to do?" Yukio yawned and leaned against the wall with a bored look on his face. It seemed to me that he could never physically support himself. He leaned on anything that would support his weight. The Inoue family was strange.

"Nope!" I replied cheerfully.

"Actually we probably should be going," Takeru had bought whatever he thought that Chibi wanted as a prize and tugged on my sleeve, pulling me away from the counter. "We just wanted to check on Miya."

"I'll tell her you stopped by." Yukio called out as the glass doors closed behind us.

"So now what?"

"Let's go back to your place," Takeru said as we walked. "It's getting dark."

"What, scared of the dark?" I cooed and squeezed Takeru's cheeks. "Don't worry baby, Mommy will take care of you."

"Cut it out!" Takeru batted away my hands good naturally. "I'm just saying that-"

"Don't worry!" I cut him off, exasperated. "Nothing can go wrong while I'm here!" I bounced in a circle around him. "I am Daisuke, master of all in this world! With my steely stare, ripping muscles, and-"

"His fearless companion Super Takeru!" Takeru jumped in. "With his classic good looks and smooth charm, Super Takeru can seduce and or save any girl in the universe!"

"Leaving Daisuke with the men!"

"Yeah, sucks to be you," Takeru chuckled and shook his head.

I stopped bouncing and fell into pace with Takeru. Being with him only emphasized how wrong I was. Wrong at life. I was a horrible student, I was weird and most of all, and I liked boys. It was no use trying to convince myself otherwise. Being with Ken and Taichi had only made me more sure that I was strange. Queer even. I actually lusted over Ken. Lusted!

Silently we made it back to my apartment. We both waved at Jun, who was still eating icecream, and collapsed, in my room. 

"Well, anyway," Takeru picked up his backpack and pulled some notebooks from one of its pockets. "We should probably do our homework. We have that biology test to study for."

It figured that Takeru would start studying days in advance. Stupid perfect smart Takeru. He was perfect too, but in a totally different way. Blue eyes, blond hair, good athlete, good student, good son, good boyfriend, good brother, and just plain old damn good. He was the kind of person that people always smiled at. I could picture him walking around kissing babies. Even on rainy days, I had the feeling that it was sunny around for him. It was like the raindrops never hit him.

It was so damn annoying.

I decided to humor him. I pulled out my science stuff and opened to the chapter that our test was going to be on. My eyes rambled along the lines, tripping over those big words that scientists use, and unconsciously looking for any thing pertaining to sex. (Hey, there are some interesting parts of biology!)

I honestly tried to read, but it seemed like whenever I started to actually learn something, Ken's face would appear and distract me. If he was helping me study… We'd be curled together on my couch -no! on my bed!- sharing the book on our laps. We'd have cuddle together so we both would be able to see. He'd lick his fingers to turn the page but accidentally touch my hand. He'd look up to apologize and right then, with his lips parted to speak, I'd kiss him. Claim him. Have him.

Fuck I was sick.

~*~

Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be better, I promise!


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